Breaking news: the collective guilt of white DJs cures racism

A bunch of middle class white DJs, who have built their entire careers off of African American music, have single-handedly cured racism by saying that they are very sad about what is happening in the world.

“I thought I had to actually do something to cure racism, but I realised that all I had to do was post a black box on Instagram.” Says Bishops Old Boy, Jonathan, who is now a DJ.

Another DJ, Christopher, announced today that he is cancelling all his shows in solidarity of all the bad things that are happening. “I know I didn’t have any shows today because it’s lockdown. And I mean, it’s also a Tuesday. But, still, the thought of cancelling all my DJ plans for the day is the thought that counts.” Christopher spent the rest of his day smoking a bong & playing Fortnite in his mom’s Constantia mansion, like he has been doing every day for the last 2 months.

Thanks to the collective sadness of all the middle class white DJs across South Africa & the world, it looks like racism is finally cured.

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